His Perfect Timing

Lately I have felt completely overwhelmed with life. I've felt beat down and tired. I have books, devotionals, and aps sitting on my bedside table staring back at me for months now. Yet every night I choose to turn on the tv as I fall asleep. I really felt God talking to me tonight. This past Sunday our pastor Kyle talked about the crucifixion. He talked in detail about the excruciating pain that Jesus suffered for us. It made me stop in my tracks and really think about my "exhaustion."

What Jesus endured I cannot even fathom. I cannot even read the gory details because I don't have the stomach for it. He did this .for. me. Why am I such a selfish person that I cannot even take 5 minutes to read my Jesus Calling devotional? Sin has just been in the forefront of my mind this weekend. All different types of sin. One thing I have been completely convicted of this deployment is the sin of not trusting and relying on my own strength. I just read an excerpt from a fantastic book my friend got for me and I'm going to share it. For all my friends whose husbands have gone, or are going over seas be warned it  might make you cry as it did me. But I have never been so convicted in my life. The author is talking about her husbands deployment:

"But now, fifteen months later, I definitely felt like a military wife. I knew what it was like to carry my cell phone with me everywhere, including to bed. I watched the news and wondered if my husband was in the area where they were reporting violence; I knew the pain of sitting by myself at church and feeling completely alone in a room filled with people; I sometimes cried when I saw a soldier in uniform; I knew what it was like to force myself to answer with a pleasant "I'm good" when someone asked me how I was doing, knowing they didn't want to hear how I really felt.

But sitting on the couch that day, worn out, spent, and ready to quit with no clear idea how I could do that, I came to another realization: That the strength I'd run on for so long was only my own and that already seven months into the deployment, I was missing what God was trying to teach me. That my strength had absolutely nothing to do with it.

This was a hard truth to swallow...

You had to be strong when you least expected it; when well -meaning friends made comments that made you want to wilt; when strangers told you exactly what they thought about the war your husband was fighting; when you saw couples out walking hand in hand. You had to be strong when the car broke down and your child got sick and the garage door wouldn't open and the dog threw up on your already not-so-clean carpet. You had to be strong for yourself, because there was no one else who would be.

I had thrown my military wife dress up clothes on with such focus and determination that I hadn't put on the most important garment. My faith. Instead of wearing my faith in God as my favorite piece and depending on it each day, I had treated it like and accessory I sometimes picked up and often put down, counting on my own confidence, my own determination, and my own stick-to-itiveness to get me through. I was making it, but sometimes barely. I was determined but there were major struggles. I was strong, but my strength was coming from one weak source. Me."

God Strong
by Sara Horn



Man. That excerpt hit me hard. Like a ton of bricks hard. Even if you aren't a military spouse, how often do we drive on for months and months drained or "exhausted" from living off our own puny strength when God is right there whispering "come to Me all who are weary and I will give you rest." Why is it so hard for me to just go to Him. He is all that I need.

Well just a little thought for the evening. I hope this has encouraged you like it encouraged me. Jesus is our only source of strength! Rest and reflect on that tonight <3

Seek My Face

Seek my face, And you will find more than you ever dreamed possible. 
Let me displace worry at the center of your being.  
I am like a supersaturated cloud, showering peace into the pool of your mind. 
My nature is to bless. Your nature is to receive with thanksgiving. 
This is a true fit, designed before the foundation of the world. 
Glorify me by receiving my blessings gratefully. 
I am the goal of all your searching. 
When you seek me, you will find me and are satisfied. 
When lesser goals capture your attention, I fade into the background of your life.
 I am still there, watching and waiting; but you function as if you were alone. 
Actually, my light shines on every situation you will ever face. 
Live radiantly by expanding your focus to include me in all your moments. 
Let nothing dampen your search for me.


Life is so much better when we let God take control. Reflecting in the precious words of Sarah Young once again. 

Patience is a virtue.

Timing is so important! If you are going to be successful in dance, you must be able to respond to rhythm and timing. It's the same in the Spirit. People who don't understand God's timing can become spiritually spastic, trying to make the right things happen at the wrong time. They don't get His rhythm - and everyone can tell they are out of step. They birth things prematurely, threatening the very lives of their God-given dreams.       -T. D. Jakes

One of the most difficult lessons I've had to learn in life so far has been waiting. Waiting for answers, waiting for direction, waiting for love, waiting for healing, waiting for coffee... :) But seriously, in our insanely fast paced culture, waiting stinks! My lesson for today was for sure a big fat smack in the face reminder from my eternally patient heavenly Father about His timing. 

Before christmas break I had difficult decisions with my job and questions of whether or not I should stay there during Jason's deployment. I prayed and prayed for guidance, but thinking back, I really only prayed looking for my answer and not waiting for His answer. I remember back when I was a little girl sitting in church, squirming around on the pugh, hearing our preacher say that God can answer your prayers with a yes, or a no, but the most difficult answer is wait. 

Why in the world is it SO difficult for me to trust that God can take care of such a minute thing like my job? But no I spiraled into a crazy emotional tornado ignoring God's promise that He was in control the whole time. Today He showed me, with a little reminder from my dear mother, that I wasted buckets of tears and countless hours worrying about my job. 

Like the quote above that I recently found, which I instantly fell in love with, timing is so important. God knew the entire time that everything would work out perfectly. He knew the ins and outs of this deployment, he knew what the month of January held for us, before we could even utter our first prayer about the situation. Why must I be so impatient all the time when I've entrusted my life to God? 

Leave it to me to be the clumsy dancer who fumbles around and messes up the routine. Thankfully I am assured over and over that our Father knows this, He knows us and He know's how clumsy we are when it comes to dancing in this great dance we call life. 

As I change gears and share with you from my devotional, and of course continuing on the "wrong day" bible study, January 17 is pretty spot on for today as well. Funny how God does that! 

"Come to ME with a thankful heart, so that you can enjoy My Presence. This is the day that I have made. I want you to rejoice today, refusing to worry about tomorrow. Search for all that I have prepared for you, anticipating abundant blessings and accepting difficulties as they come."

Search for and anticipate blessings. That sounds good to me! Why do we waste so much time worrying about silly things like missing a FaceTime chat with my husband when I can trust that God has a reason even for the silliest details of life. 

So instead of curling up into a ball with my cookie dough ice cream. I choose to get up, finish my work out (LITERALLY Thank you Mrs. Laura Gafken!!) and keep pressing on with life, because we cannot let the worry of the unknown keep us from living an abundantly blessed life today. All it takes is faith.... and a little bit of patience! 

*hugs*

Rebekah 

the beginning

Good Morning!

So...I decided that a great way to keep myself accountable with my devotions during the time that Jason is deployed is to share with you what I am learning and what God is teaching me. I am writing this assuming that anyone who might read this already knows me and knows that my husband left for his deployment recently. This blog is not intended for anything other than pursuing God and documenting the amazing things He is teaching me.

First of all I want to start off by sharing a devotional from my new favorite "Jesus Calling," written by Sarah Young. If you have not ever read this you must go to the bookstore TODAY and buy it. My good friend Katie gave me an excerpt from this devotional a while back and I was hooked.

Being the distracted airhead that I am (ahem who knows where I get that from... cough cough... MOM... :) I skipped ahead to the wrong date last night and read January 16. I believe that it was meant to be. I know God was leading me to this specific devotion, because in just a few short words I understood the peace I have felt during these last few days before Jason left. Isn't God just awesome? (I might throw in a few additions just to reemphasize how amazing this segment is)

January 16 (I read this for yesterday January14)

"Come to me, and rest in My loving Presence. You know that this day will bring difficulties, and you are trying to think your way through those trials. (I mean REALYY!?! So God!!)
As you anticipate what is ahead of you, you forget that I am with you- now and always. Rehearsing your troubles results in experiencing them many times, whereas you are meant to go through them only when they actually occur."

Just going to stop there for a second. Isn't it awesome when you read one sentence and it completely knocks you on your knees. How often do we dwell on our troubles? I believe God was saying, Rebekah, do not dwell on the sad part of this, but look ahead to the amazing things to come. I have been given the gift of months and months to bury myself in countless hours of one on one time with my maker. What a gift! Ok to continue..

"Do not multiply your suffering in the way! Instead, come to Me, and relax in My Peace. I will strengthen you and prepare you for this day, transforming your fear into confident trust."

Wow. I mean wow. I almost just want to end right there. I cannot even make this stuff up people. I accidentally read the wrong day and I believe that Sarah had no idea that she was writing this devotional specifically for me on this day. He will strengthen me and prepare me transforming my fear into trust. That's all I need to know folks! Well I think I have rambled enough for one day. Just know that God is actively pursuing you and He longs to have a meaningful relationship with you!

*hugs*

Rebekah